This is something I shared on Facebook first, but I wanted to save it here too. I’ll be doing more of this as I share more and more thoughts and stories (sharing from FB and what not).
A few thoughts in regards to Mother’s Day:
1. This Mother’s Day happened to be the day that Oliver decided he wanted to go to the church nursery and stay by himself. We have been attending RCC for almost two years now, and while he adores Ms. Marilyn, he loves his Mama and Daddy more. Every single Sunday one of us has been present in the nursery to keep him calm and keep him feeling safe. It may not be ideal for everyone, but it is for us. Separation anxiety, whether it’s induced by trauma or simply development is not something we take lightly. We have always, ALWAYS known that one day he would find his independence and confidence and realize he was ready. He came very close to doing that last week (but visited me for a bit while I taught children’s church), but this week was it. We hope, for his sake, that this is the start of a new and brave adventure for him. That next week and the weeks to come involve him enjoying Ms. Marilyn and the other children solely on his own as he learns to thrive and enjoy time to himself away from Mama and Daddy. Not only did my little fella take a HUGE step today, but he also wanted his daddy to get him to sleep for nap time. It isn’t something that happens very often, but when it does, I’m always happy for the both of them. So, basically, today was a huge day for Oliver, and really… isn’t that what being a mother/parent is all about? Hoping for these huge days and milestones? Hoping that our love and encouragement helps them to find these days? Best gift ever. ❤
2. After 30 years of having the best mom in the world, I honestly don’t even know what to say anymore. There are zero words, gifts, thoughts, etc., that could come close to touching how much I love, care for, and adore that woman. She has done more for me, my brothers, and my little family than anyone in this world. And that? That means more than even she will ever, EVER know. Happy Mother’s Day, mom. You taught me everything I know and I can only hope to come close to being the awesome mother (and father) you’ve been to the boys, Jhavonn, and me. ❤ You’re the very best Mimi and I am so thankful for you.
3. I have forgotten that today is Mother’s Day more times than I can count. I figure that’s a huge indication of being a mother. Growing up I prided myself on my memory. After becoming pregnant and having children, my memory got lost with regular showers, clean clothes, and makeup (which I have not worn since our formal ceremony last June).
4. I’ve read so many posts this Mother’s Day about those who are estranged from their moms and who find this holiday difficult. I hear you, I see you, and I’m thinking of you. I get those feels on Father’s Day, which is a day I’ve dedicated to my mom for many years now. Some people take issue with that. That’s fine. It’s not their issue. All I know is my mom has been pulling double duty (or quadruple now) as a mother, father, Mimi, and grandpa. And by golly, she’s amazing at it. She deserves all the recognition in the world. So, while this day is very hard for the lot of you, you aren’t forgotten and you aren’t overlooked. Days like this can be so hard. ❤
5. Okay, and one last thing. As Jhavonn hurries and sneaks Oliver outside to see some lightning bugs, I sit here on the verge of tears (thanks hormones) as I think of the extreme and most intense love I have for them. We’re about to add another to our little family and really… I cannot wrap my mind around the amount of extra love that will pour from me. I already love that little fella of mine so much. Knowing I’ll love another like that is mind boggling. I have hoped for the day I’d be a Mom since I was a little girl. I have always mothered people, toys, and animals. I have always, always wanted to be a Mom. Even my nickname in college was “mom!” And now that I am… well, it is absolutely the best job I’ve ever had. The very best thing I have ever done. Sometimes I lose my patience, sometimes I cry, sometimes I yell and sometimes I come very close to giving up on my day. Sometimes I wonder how I’ll make it through another day. But y’all… never, NEVER have I ever wished it away. Never have I thought of this anything other than exactly how my life is meant to be. Never have I thought, “I need a life.” This kid is my life. I am totally okay with that. I have wished and hoped for that, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I may wish for a vacation from time to time, but I always hurry back to him, even when I’ve gone to the store. This kiddo (and the one coming) is my everything. Seeing him be brave and happy and excited and excel at the things he sets his mind to are the very best gifts I could ever have. And I would definitely much rather have them every day than just one day.
Happy Mother’s Day. ❤