Instead of adding to the previous “Nobody Tells You” post and making it longer than what is enjoyable, I thought I’d do a Part 2. It’s probably a bit absurd, but there’s just so much we aren’t told! 😉
- Your baby will peel
I knew a good chunk of info before I got pregnant. When I became pregnant, I read an even bigger chunk of info. But nothing and no one prepared me for the fact that my baby would peel a couple of weeks after he got home. It terrified me, then I realized it was normal (after an intense search on Google and Baby Center, of course!). Once I realized it was normal, my mind was set at a rocky ease. Partly because my baby was peeling like a reptile, but partly because I have this thing with peeling things. I didn’t peel him, of course! Gosh. Chill out. Anyway, just let your little fella or gal peel. Add some lotion if it makes you feel better, but you have to remember… they’ve been in a wet place for a very long time. It’s gonna happen once they get out! They have a lot of things to shed! Skin (obviously) and hair… in case you didn’t know.
- Babies mean travel.
We were pretty lucky. In the beginning everyone wanted to come to us. Well, I take that back. That’s kind of terrifying when you’ve slept a grand total of about 6 hours in 3 days and haven’t touched a bit of housework. Of coooourse everyone wants to come visit THEN. It’s when you start getting more sleep and find a way to do housework that everyone suddenly expects you to see them. Oh, how I miss the days of “Noo, really! You shouldn’t have to go out. Let me come to you!” And in the excitement of seeing if I could actually take care of our little guy in public, I would always (practically) beg to meet them somewhere. It always failed and they came over, which I know really did me awesome favors in the process. I miss those awesome favors.
- Any story about a child being sick, hurt, abused, handicapped, lost, happy, getting a trip to Disney world etc., will practically bring you to your knees.
Okay, so I kind of heard about this one before hand. But I didn’t realize it would be absolutely and completely true. I’m not kidding about the happy or DW part. It could be a happy story you’re hearing about, but the fact that it includes kids will instantly remind you of your own and immediately cause you to think of your own child in the position of the other child. I wonder how long my personal cry fest will last… anybody know that one?
- Your baby’s legs/limbs will jerk.
I was convinced he was about to lose the use of his legs. Maybe he had a pinched nerve? Maybe I bent his legs the wrong way and now they were stuck that way? Oh… they stopped jerking. After a quick Google search I found that it was normal. Their muscles and nerves are working themselves out. It happens when they start to “uncurl,” so to say and the only time I should’ve been concerned was if they didn’t stop… at all. Which they did! So, all is well. His legs only did that for a few weeks here and there.
- Buttons are not your friend.
Again, this is one of those things I already knew, but apparently those who make baby clothes don’t. We have a few outfits that have ACTUAL buttons. Not snaps, not velcro… BUTTONS. First off, I hardly like buttoning my own clothes. It’s tedious and there are often too many buttons. So, why would I want to button the clothes of a tiny, squirming, rolly-polly baby? Yea. I wouldn’t.
- Drooling doesn’t come with birth.
Okay, this may sound stupid. No. I know it does, but just hear me out. I was prepared for drool. I’ve seen babies drool that sweet goo all over the place before. But when our chunker was born, there was no drool… and I didn’t think about it. 2 months later he has spit everywhere and keeps choking on it. I’m convinced he’s sick or that something is terribly wrong, when it dawns on me… he’s finally drooling. I had forgotten all about the drool. The drool comes later.
- Your child will become an alligator.
With mobility comes what I call “the gator roll.” While your child won’t technically become an alligator, you’ll think you have one. Ever since baby O realized he could roll over, we’ve had difficulty changing diapers. The difficulty has risen as he’s perfected his rolling technique, and he would be proud to let everyone know that it requires 2, sometimes 3 people to change his diapers. We all shake in fear when we know he has a poop diaper. We know there’s a chance everything in a 3 ft radius may need to be changed.
- Your epidural site may throb.
To each her own. If you didn’t get one or don’t want one, kudos. I, on the other hand, knew I was getting one and if I could’ve ordered it and had it hiding in my purse, just to make sure I could get it as fast as possible, I would have. Despite researching and learning about it during a childbirth class, I had no idea I would have something similar to a back spasm as a result. Will this deter me from getting one in the future? Uh. Negative. As jolting as they are (and I do mean that my body would sort of jerk around a little bit), the spasms subsided after a few months. They were never frequent to begin with, and now I’m surprised if I have them once a month.
I took a long break between the last two points and the rest above it, so the last two points may seem a little disjointed. I think I’ll bring on a Pt 3 in another few months as baby O gets older. 🙂