Were you ever one of those unfortunate kids who had a dream you were going to the bathroom, only to wake up and realize you were going in the bed?
Oh, um… yea… that never happened to me either. Hm..
Well, anyway. This isn’t about that. However, I did wake up to a nice big puddle in the bed last night.
I heard Baby O whining, woke up, and realized there was a massive wet spot in the bed. I’ve never been patted down by anyone, but I received a massive pat down from my self last night. I was patting my face, my nose, my mouth, my stomach, under my boobs (who am I kidding, they sweat like crazy), my nipples. Everywhere. EVERYTHING was dry but that spot on the bed.
Several thoughts ran through my head at once, which is quite impressive, since it was about 5:45am.
Did I drool? Gosh, that’s a massive drool spot. Wait, it’s not on my pillow. I must’ve peed. Omg, did I freakin’ pee? No, it’s too high. Ew, am I sweating? I do sweat a lot. I must’ve sweat… but why is it a puddle of sweat about the size of a football? Omg. I leaked. My boobs peed in the bed. I just fed the bed my goods!
Anyone who breastfeeds realizes just how important and golden those “goods” are. And you certainly don’t want to leak them all out and waste them in your stinkin’ bed, sopping them up with a towel!
Luckily I’m a bottomless tap, because Baby O didn’t have any trouble feasting during the night. And luckily I didn’t drown him with my puddles either.